The book by Alfred Lubarno, Limbo: Blue Collar Roots, White Collar Dreams, is about the struggles that poor and working class people may have in moving into higher education and the professions.  I've used some sections of it with my students (in addition to bell hooks) to talk about how attending college affects their relationships with their families and communities.  At Alverno, we have an "etiquette event" for our students (they are all women) who are doing internships.  I resisted it at first because I thought it was condescending to have a dinner where we taught our students what fork to use in a professional setting, but the students themselves persuaded me that they had some anxiety about how to relate to people in such settings, because in their homes, their families never emphasized "manners."  The other thing that happens at this dinner is that alums come and there's a networking period before the sitdown dinner, so students can work on their "cocktail party" conversation skills.  What we are trying to do is help our students, no matter what their race or ethnicity, avoid negative judgments about their class origins. I still feel uncomfortable about it, but I attend the dinner myself.  It turns out I have been passing the basket of rolls in the wrong direction  for a long time.   Donna Engelmann

________________________________

From: Feminist ethics and social theory on behalf of Sophia Wong
Sent: Tue 6/10/2008 10:36 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: link to on-line version: How can I mentor someone who doesn't look like me?



Dear FEASTies,

Shay raises an important point about her experiences of class
difference.  A friend of mine has suggested that I should change the
title of the piece to "How can I mentor someone who ISN'T like me"
rather than "who doesn't LOOK LIKE me" because many differences,
including class, are masked by one's appearance.  People who look the
same may in fact be very different inside.  This also includes
differences in religious beliefs and political affiliations, as Kate
Norlock pointed out to me.

Would anyone like to chime in with an anecdote illustrating the
feeling of un-relatability or the fear of being discovered/co-opted
into elitism that Shay describes below?

Sophia

Sophia Wong, Ph.D.
Assistant Professor
Department of Philosophy
Long Island University, Brooklyn Campus
www.sophiawong.info

On Mon, Jun 9, 2008 at 6:37 PM, Shay Welch <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> I do think that somewhere someone should address the difficulties that come
> from class/cultural difference.  While I do not go nearly as far as some
> others, I do believe that class difference makes for nearly insurmountable
> obstacles (at least in my mind).  There is a similar, though unique, feeling
> of un-relatability that comes from knowing that they "(secretly) know what
> you really are (secretly)" and a fear of being discovered or even co-opted
> into the elitism.
> Shay
>
> On Mon, Jun 9, 2008 at 1:52 PM, Sophia Wong <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
>>
>> Dear FEASTers,
>>
>> Many thanks to those who wrote encouraging me to post my short piece,
>> "How can I mentor someone who doesn't look like me?" on my website,
>> and to revise and expand it for publication.  I have posted the draft
>> on my website here where anyone may link to it or print it out for
>> colleagues who might find it useful:
>> http://sophiawong.info/mentoring-for-diversity/
>>
>> If anyone has related anecdotes or similar tips on mentoring to share,
>> I would be delighted to include them in the expanded version of this
>> piece.
>>
>> Best wishes,
>> Sophia
>>
>> Sophia Isako Wong, Ph.D.
>> Assistant Professor
>> Department of Philosophy
>> Long Island University, Brooklyn Campus
>> www.sophiawong.info
>
>