Funny, I've not found it as deep-seated as Shay, and not hidden in academic circles.  Just as I felt mannish around feminine girls, when growing up (ah, nonheterosexuality rearing its confused head), so I found immediately upon starting my first job that, when around faculty from educated families and academic backgrounds, I stick out like a sore thumb.  I understood little of what my new coworkers were talking about when they referred to the history of the liberal arts, the rankings of the most prestigious journals, the Ivies -- I never quite got down which ones were Ivy -- and subfields in a discipline of which I was scarcely cognizant before my twenties, let alone the passing references to cultural events and pursuits that no one engaged in back home. I tried to swear less and mention television less, so I suppose I made an effort at something like 'passing,' but since it was clear to me and my senior colleagues that I wasn't 'passing' at all, the word is probably not appropriate.
 
Now picture me around educationally advantaged academics who are also feminine women!  Ha ha!  I feel very, hm, let's say I feel my difference.
 
I'll never forget the senior colleague who said he was dubious about my candidacy for the job because he preferred applicants with a "long, strong background in liberal arts college settings."  He wasn't referring to work experience, he elaborated, but a lifetime of a certain kind of education.  And I though my state university was such an advance, since I was the first in my family to "go away" to school.  Needless to say, I felt very blushy and, since this is me, too tall.
 
Kathryn J. Norlock
Associate Professor of Philosophy
St. Mary's College of Maryland
18952 E. Fisher Rd.
St. Mary's City, MD 20686
240-895-4337 (ph)
240-895-4436 (fax)
[log in to unmask]
 

________________________________

From: Feminist ethics and social theory on behalf of Shay Welch
Sent: Tue 6/10/2008 12:24 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: link to on-line version: How can I mentor someone who doesn't look like me?


Well, just to add: 
I don't think that the criteria listed fits someone who has class fears.  It's more hidden than that.  To be more specific, people tend to treat you the same as them, because, especially if you appear Caucasian, you look like them.  So there's never a feeling of being initially over looked or ignored (well, aside from the whole "woman" thing).  

It's more a deep seated fear like "what if they hear the way I talk; what if I give an anecdote in class that shows how white trash I am/ my family is/ my background is; what if they won't see me as credible when they find out I didn't have the opportunity to have as "cushy" of an education and education experience as they did since I had to take care of myself and work my way through that commuter school?".... 

Of course, once people find out, it's not uncommon for all of these fears to be actualized.  So then you end up trying really hard to either act like them, really hard to "show your ass" in order to prove you're not like them, or a really mentally confusing combination of both.   I guess it would be like a sort of double consciousness.  And "passing" is always an issue.  

I'm sure there's a lot more to be said on the topic, but this is what my experience has been and I hope that it can help expand the idea.

Shay


On Tue, Jun 10, 2008 at 11:36 AM, Sophia Wong <[log in to unmask]> wrote:


	Dear FEASTies,
	
	Shay raises an important point about her experiences of class
	difference.  A friend of mine has suggested that I should change the
	title of the piece to "How can I mentor someone who ISN'T like me"
	rather than "who doesn't LOOK LIKE me" because many differences,
	including class, are masked by one's appearance.  People who look the
	same may in fact be very different inside.  This also includes
	differences in religious beliefs and political affiliations, as Kate
	Norlock pointed out to me.
	
	Would anyone like to chime in with an anecdote illustrating the
	feeling of un-relatability or the fear of being discovered/co-opted
	into elitism that Shay describes below?
	
	Sophia
	
	Sophia Wong, Ph.D.
	Assistant Professor
	Department of Philosophy
	Long Island University, Brooklyn Campus
	www.sophiawong.info <http://www.sophiawong.info/> 
	
	On Mon, Jun 9, 2008 at 6:37 PM, Shay Welch <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
	> I do think that somewhere someone should address the difficulties that come
	> from class/cultural difference.  While I do not go nearly as far as some
	> others, I do believe that class difference makes for nearly insurmountable
	> obstacles (at least in my mind).  There is a similar, though unique, feeling
	> of un-relatability that comes from knowing that they "(secretly) know what
	> you really are (secretly)" and a fear of being discovered or even co-opted
	> into the elitism.
	> Shay
	>
	> On Mon, Jun 9, 2008 at 1:52 PM, Sophia Wong <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
	>>
	>> Dear FEASTers,
	>>
	>> Many thanks to those who wrote encouraging me to post my short piece,
	>> "How can I mentor someone who doesn't look like me?" on my website,
	>> and to revise and expand it for publication.  I have posted the draft
	>> on my website here where anyone may link to it or print it out for
	>> colleagues who might find it useful:
	>> http://sophiawong.info/mentoring-for-diversity/
	>>
	>> If anyone has related anecdotes or similar tips on mentoring to share,
	>> I would be delighted to include them in the expanded version of this
	>> piece.
	>>
	>> Best wishes,
	>> Sophia
	>>
	>> Sophia Isako Wong, Ph.D.
	>> Assistant Professor
	>> Department of Philosophy
	>> Long Island University, Brooklyn Campus
	>> www.sophiawong.info <http://www.sophiawong.info/> 
	>
	>