I agree that fatherhood cannot be equated with masculinity in a healthy way 
any more than motherhood can be equated with femininity (AKA What It Means 
To Be A Woman) in a healthy way. 

However, note that the authors are coming from the perspective of being 
co-authors of a book called "Be A Father To Your Child", the idea being that 
if you have been a male progenitor to a child, you have parenting 
obligations and cannot leave that aspect of having a child solely to women.  
This is not at all the same as saying that being a good man is being a good 
father.  It's saying that once you've fathered a child, part of being a good 
man is being a good father. It's not good for women who are mothers to have 
men's identities be INcompatible with being fathers.  And that's a family 
values perspective that I find fairly unobjectionable and even laudable from 
a feminist perspective. 

This is, it's worth noting, not just a problem in black communities, lest we 
somehow think that family values issues are not potentially feminist issues 
in American society in general.  Feminist literature stemming from the lives 
of women from numerous backgrounds has long critiqued the idea that 
caregiving and childrearing are seen primarily as women's work, and that 
this work benefits society and especially those whose children are reared 
while placing disproportionate burdens on women qua caregivers.  Men who 
take on major caregiving duties toward their children are often seen as 
either doing "women's work" or as going above and beyond the call of duty 
(supererogatory), whereas women doing the same thing for their children are 
seen as doing gender-appropriate labor that is obligatory rather than 
supererogatory.  If indeed black masculinity is INcompatible with this kind 
of work--whether to the same or different degrees, in the same or in 
different ways, as white European masculinity--it's not good for females who 
are daughters or who are mothers. 

Ultimately, it is good to see a strong and explicit statement acknowledging 
that the current choices of many have not been good for black women and 
girls, that this has to change, and that part of the path to correcting this 
is starting by listening to what black women and girls say about their 
lives.  This latter part in particular often gets left out of male calls for 
better treatment of women, in my understanding of the history of male 
involvement in pro-women movements in many cultures and at many points in 
history. 

This was an interesting and thought-provoking original post. 

Thanks very much to Sarah, and to Emanuela and Shay for your equally 
thought-provoking comments. 

Best,
 Alison Reiheld 

 


Shay Welch writes: 

> I agree.  However, if there are no (flawed) beginnings then there is no
> progression at all.
> Shay 
> 
> On Fri, Jun 27, 2008 at 6:10 PM, Emanuela Bianchi <[log in to unmask]>
> wrote: 
> 
>> While in some ways I indeed find this fabulous in its critical
>> sensibility, I am also wary of the aggressive moralism of the "family
>> values" discourse it promotes.  I am not at all sure that "families need
>> fathers" nor that the 'way forward' for black masculinity lies in any
>> necessary way in being a father to children. 
>>
>> Just my 2 (white, queer, feminist) cents. 
>>
>> Emma 
>>
>>
>> --
>>  Emanuela Bianchi
>>  Visiting Assistant Professor
>>  Department of Philosophy
>>  Haverford College 
>>
>>
>> ----- Original message -----
>> From: "Sarah Hoagland" <[log in to unmask]>
>> To: [log in to unmask]
>> Date: Fri, 27 Jun 2008 01:29:06 -0500
>> Subject: FW: This is Fabulous... 
>>
>> ------ Forwarded Message
>> From: Jackie Anderson <[log in to unmask]>
>> Date: Sat, 21 Jun 2008 20:17:18 -0700 (PDT)
>> Subject: This is Fabulous... 
>>
>>
>> Statement of Black Men Against
>> the Exploitation of Black Women 
>>
>> From Aaron Lloyd •  Adisa Banjoko •  Alford Young, Jr. • Byron Hurt •
>> Cheo Tyehimba • Davey D. • Dion Chavis • James Peterson • Kevin Powell
>> • Kevin Williams • Lasana Hotep • Loren S. Harris • Lumumba
>> Akinwole-Bandele • Mo Beasley, Jr. • Saddi Khali • Shaun Neblett •
>> Steven G. Fullwood • Thabiti Boone • William Jelani Cobb * 
>>
>> Six years have gone by since we first heard the allegations that R.
>> Kelly had filmed himself having sex with an underage girl. During that
>> time we have seen the videotape being hawked on street corners in Black
>> communities, as if the dehumanization of one of our own was not at
>> stake. We have seen entertainers rally around him and watched his
>> career reach new heights despite the grave possibility that he had
>> molested and urinated on a 13-year old girl. We saw African Americans
>> purchase millions of his records despite the long history of such
>> charges swirling around the singer. Worst of all, we have witnessed the
>> sad vision of Black people cheering his acquittal with a fervor usually
>> reserved for community heroes and shaken our heads at the stunning lack
>> of outrage over the verdict in the broader Black community. 
>>
>> Over these years, justice has been delayed and it has been denied.
>> Perhaps a jury can accept R. Kelly's absurd defense and find
>> "reasonable doubt" despite the fact that the film was shot in his home
>> and featured a man who was identical to him. Perhaps they doubted that
>> the young woman in the courtroom was, in fact, the same person featured
>> in the ten year old video. But there is no doubt about this: some young
>> Black woman was filmed being degraded and exploited by a much older
>> Black man, some daughter of our community was left unprotected, and
>> somewhere another Black woman is being molested, abused or raped and
>> our callous handling of this case will make it that much more difficult
>> for her to come forward and be believed. And each of us is responsible
>> for it. 
>>
>> We have proudly seen the community take to the streets in defense of
>> Black men who have been the victims of police violence or racist
>> attacks, but that righteous outrage only highlights the silence
>> surrounding this verdict. 
>>
>> We believe that our judgment has been clouded by celebrity-worship; we
>> believe that we are a community in crisis and that our addiction to
>> sexism has reached such an extreme that many of us cannot even
>> recognize child molestation when we see it. 
>>
>> We recognize the absolute necessity for Black men to speak in a single,
>> unified voice and state something that should be absolutely obvious:
>> that the women of our community are full human beings, that we cannot
>> and will not tolerate the poisonous hatred of women that has already
>> damaged our families, relationships and culture. 
>>
>> We believe that our daughters are precious and they deserve our
>> protection. We believe that Black men must take responsibility for our
>> contributions to this terrible state of affairs and make an effort to
>> change our lives and our communities. 
>>
>> This is about more than R. Kelly's claims to innocence. It is about our
>> survival as a community. Until we believe that our daughters, sisters,
>> mothers, wives and friends are worthy of justice, until we believe that
>> rape, domestic violence and the casual sexism that permeates our
>> culture are absolutely unacceptable, until we recognize that the first
>> priority of any community is the protection of its young, we will
>> remain in this tragic dead-end. 
>>
>> We ask that you:
>> Sign your name if you are a Black male who supports this statement:
>> www.petitiononline.com/rkelly/petition.html 
>>
>> Forward this statement to your entire network and ask other Black males
>> to sign as well. 
>>
>> Make a personal pledge to never support R. Kelly again in any form or
>> fashion, unless he publicly apologizes for his behavior and gets help
>> for his long-standing sexual conduct, in his private life and in his
>> music. 
>>
>> Make a commitment in your own life to never to hit, beat, molest, rape,
>> or exploit Black females in any way and, if you have, to take ownership
>> for your behavior, seek emotional and spiritual help, and, over time,
>> become a voice against all forms of Black female exploitation. 
>>
>> Challenge other Black males, no matter their age, class or educational
>> background, or status in life, if they engage in behavior and language
>> that is exploitative and or disrespectful to Black females in any way.
>> If you say nothing, you become just as guilty. 
>>
>> Learn to listen to the voices, concerns, needs, criticisms, and
>> challenges of Black females, because they are our equals, and because
>> in listening we will learn a new and different kind of Black manhood.
>> We support the work of scholars, activists and organizations that are
>> helping to redefine Black manhood in healthy ways. Additional resources
>> are listed below. 
>>
>> Books:
>> Who's Gonna Take the Weight, Kevin Powell
>> New Black Man, Mark Anthony Neal
>> Deals with the Devil and Other Reasons to Riot, Pearl Cleage
>> Traps: African American Men on Gender and Sexuality, Rudolph Byrd and
>> Beverly Guy-Sheftall
>> Films:
>> I Am A Man: Black Masculinity in America by Byron Hurt
>> Hip Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes by Byron Hurt
>> NO! The Rape Documentary by Aishah Simmons
>> Organizations:
>> The 2025 Campaign: www.2025bmb.org
>> Men Stopping Violence: www.menstoppingviolence.org 
>>
>>
>> * The aforementioned men are contributors to the new anthology BE A
>> FATHER TO YOUR CHILD: REAL TALK FROM BLACK MEN ON FAMILY, LOVE, AND
>> FATHERHOOD, Edited by April R. Silver. Only the aforementioned are
>> signees to the statement issued above. 
>>
>>
>> To share YOUR thoughts, find out more about the signees or
>> the BE A FATHER book, please visit the official website:
>> www.beafathertoyourchild.com 
>>
>> 
>>
>> 
>>
>> ------ End of Forwarded Message 
>>