Subject: | "How can I mentor someone who doesn¹t look like me?" |
---|---|
Date: | Thu, 30 Aug 2001 15:21:45 -0400 |
From: | Sophia Isako Wong <[log in to unmask]> |
Reply-To: | Feminist Ethics and Social Theory <[log in to unmask]> |
To: | [log in to unmask] |
Thank you, Ofelia, for opening up this discussion of mentoring for diversity and for offering to share our thoughts with others on the upcoming APA panel. I¹ve been inspired by Anne Waters¹ posting to make a few observations based on my own experience. As a woman of Chinese and Japanese heritage studying Western philosophy in Canada and the US, I have never been mentored by someone who looked like me. (In my entire life I have met exactly three people of East Asian heritage doing philosophy in the US this was at the Eastern APA panel entitled "Asian Americans and the Color of Philosophy" last December in New York.) Encouraging diversity means much more than getting and keeping philosophers who are racially and ethnically different; in my mostly white male department, there are also very few mothers, students over 30 or professors under 40, out gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered people, people with disabilities, or Muslims let alone feminists (!). There are so many ways of being different. And yet I have found wonderful mentors from first-year until now, most of them middle-class white men, who have encouraged and supported me in my passion for philosophy. I have also started mentoring some of the undergraduates whom I teach, and younger Ph.D. students in my department. Although only two are women who look like me, I have good relationships with several students for whom I¹ve written recommendation letters and who occasionally "check in" with me to talk about their goals. At present I have zero influence on recruiting, admissions, and hiring decisions, so my goal in mentoring the few "different ones" who make it into my philosophy department is to make sure that they (we) feel welcomed, supported, and encouraged to stay. So, what is the secret of mentoring someone who doesn¹t look like me? Or, equally important for most of us, how do I find and cultivate a mentor who doesn¹t look like me? Here are some stunningly simpleminded things that I¹ve tried, both while "courting" a mentor who¹s different from me, and while seeking to mentor someone who¹s different from me. 1. Say hello to someone who doesn¹t look like you. Not just the first time you meet her, but every time you pass her in the hallway or see her in class or at a faculty meeting. Whenever I walk into a sea of faces unlike mine and hit a wall of silence and benign indifference, it starts to feel like nobody wants to acknowledge my presence (even though usually it just means everyone is busy thinking about philosophy.) Every one of my mentors started with a simple "hello" and made the effort to remember my name. 2. Spend a little time with someone who doesn¹t look like you. This may mean anything from chatting while walking across campus together, asking her to meet you during office hours, making an appointment to discuss a paper or even inviting her to lunch. I am always surprised and delighted when a professor decides to spend a lunch hour talking to me instead of working in his/her office or meeting with "more important" people. 3. Meet people who are different in spaces where THEY feel comfortable. (How effective would it be to have lunch with a female student in a gentleman¹s club?) I¹ve noticed that when my advisor meets with a group of students in a Chinese restaurant, the familiar food comforts me and makes me feel more at ease than when we¹re in an Italian café. Similarly, I make a point of meeting gay/lesbian/bi/transgender people in queer-friendly spaces on campus whenever possible, even if that means a group study space in a library with an openly gay librarian working nearby. 4. Introduce mentees to others who resemble them, so that they can get to know each other and share their struggles and triumphs as part of a minority group on campus. I sometimes hesitate to approach other people of color, because I think we might have very little in common besides not being white. Having a mutual acquaintance do the introduction is very helpful. 5. Introduce mentees to people who resemble YOU. Since not every academic is equally dedicated to encouraging diversity, it is often difficult for a person of color to get to know a (white) senior faculty member. I call it the "try-to-catch-my-eye game." You can help your mentee overcome any initial awkwardness, misunderstanding, or unconscious bias on either side say a few words of warm praise when you introduce her to others, or better yet, invite your mentee to join you and your colleagues in some activity. 6. Now here¹s the hard part. Once you know your mentor or mentee fairly well, enough that you trust her enough to try this, ask her what it¹s like to be different from you. Ask for details. If she has children and you don¹t, ask her how she is dealing with child care and whether the academic schedule is hard for her. If she¹s an out lesbian and you¹re not, ask her if she has a partner, and whether she has experienced homophobia on campus. If she¹s African-American and you¹re not, show that you¹ve noticed she¹s the only one in the department and bring up the topic of racism. Someone has to say it first. The other person may not want to take the risk of jeopardizing your relationship. Each of you is probably afraid of broaching these sensitive topics for fear of offending the other. If you know the person fairly well, chances are it will be OK. For example, I don¹t mind having someone ask me directly whether I want to be called "Oriental" or "Asian," and I welcome the chance to talk about sexism with male colleagues, although they may occasionally say things that anger me. What really bothers me is when someone assumes that she knows what it¹s like to be me, or when we try to have a working relationship that sustains the fiction that there is no difference between us, by avoiding all relevant topics. I hope these remarks were helpful. I¹ll end by advertising my event once more: at the upcoming FEAST conference I will be facilitating a lunchtime discussion entitled "How Has Racism Affected Your Life?" This discussion takes place on Friday, October 5th from 12:30 2:00 pm. I would be happy to answer anyone¹s questions or concerns about this discussion. If you decide to join us, please RSVP off-list to <[log in to unmask]> with your name, racial heritage and any dietary restrictions or preferences. Sophia Isako Wong Ph.D. Candidate Dept. of Philosophy Columbia University > Date: Tue, 28 Aug 2001 15:59:49 -0400 > From: "Schutte, Ofelia" <[log in to unmask]> > Subject: Re: aristocractic generations of academe > > There will be a panel at the Eastern Division this year named "mentoring for > diversity." I agreed to be a speaker. I would appreciate your feedback on > this topic. I think part of the intent is to come up with constructive > suggestions about retaining women and members of underrepresented groups > (not just hiring). Please feel free to contact me directly in addition to > any messages you'd like to post to the list. > > Ofelia
__________________________________
Lisa H. Schwartzman
Associate Professor of Philosophy
Department of Philosophy
517 South Kedzie Hall
Michigan State University
East Lansing, MI 48824-1032
(517) 353-9379