Encouraging our female partners to participate has already brought forth dividends! Thank you, Patrice and Helen, for your comments - I hope they will continue and others will choose to contribute. I am very much attracted to and in agreement with what you two have written. It is perspective enlarging to have access to the “lived experiences of the Other,” as Patrice writes. Equally informative is Helen’s decrying the use of shaming and how such approaches induce defenses and stifle communication. Privilege and power are troublesome and, in general, our species has a difficult time containing their effects. Certainly, they are central to behavioral dysfunctions, as the British so clearly enunciate in their Power/Threat/Meaning construct. (see attachment) While it is unhelpful to use labels argumentatively, naming does help to identify problems. That in mind, I’d like to share a couple of observations: The contention that the problem is patriarchy, WASP males, narcissism, sexism, racism, and neoliberalism bears some truth and deserves some attention. But, this description, however flawed, is neither universally applicable nor the identifier of a cohesive group. Rather, it is a description of the various facets of a worldview, a philosophical approach to the management of one’s life and resources in one’s existence. And, some of the ways in which these components, and unstated others, may be combined are particularly noxious. It’s a description, however imperfect, of how some choose to live their lives and interact, regardless their gender - and the roots seem to lie in our primate origins. The second issue deals with the conflicts arising from this confining worldview and whether or not they are solely a problem of the male-female interface. My experience is that there are some males who also adversely affected by this worldview. I am but one of those males and I chafe under the “macho-male” expectations and demands (pardon the “ism” - I search for a more appropriate moniker but have yet to find one). That is an unusually discomfiting experience. On the one hand I benefit by being a white male, on the other hand I rebel (ineffectively) against the group which enable my privileges! Cognitive dissonance, anyone? These thoughts are not meant to minimize or discount the experience of women. Rather, they are meant to illustrate that the conflicts produced this unwelcome worldview are not solely a gender-related matter. There are some men who are heartened by being able to hear and read the comments from Patrice and Helen, and who agree with them. And, I’d really like to know the comments of Patrice, Helen, and other women to my observations - as well as those from men, I might add! Best regards, Waldemar Waldemar A Schmidt, PhD, MD (Perseveret et Percipiunt) 503.631.8044 Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value. (A Einstein) > On Oct 25, 2018, at 7:31 PM, Helen Wu <[log in to unmask]> wrote: > > Hi hi, another woman speaking up. > > I think it's very important to make a distinction between acknowledging the biases and prejudices we all have without perhaps putting such a shaming and damning label on ourselves. I think once the "ist" or "ism" labels are put on, they induce defenses making it difficult for many to have an actual open and honest dialogue. I see this happen so many times in the so-called diversity seminars in my training that I am beginning to dread the next time I am required to go to one. For the record, I am an Asian woman. Preaching to the choir and making people too ashamed to to speak up isn't very helpful in my opinion. Labeling large groups of people even in defense of another group is simply counterproductive. > > I think the privileges that people have are complicated. Yes, perhaps heterosexual white man as a group have more privileges than most other groups and hence should not judge other groups for not succeeding as much by the typical standards. At the same time I have some privileges that these men don't. I always get the sense that it's easier for me to obtain cooperation from many people because small Asian women are simply seen as non-threatening. And I rarely have people talk down to me perhaps because Asians are also viewed as smart. And as a woman in general, it is more acceptable for me to express my emotions and engage in both masculine and feminine activities. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I remember reading that boys are struggling more in school and not getting into college as much as girls. Seems to me that the male gender is being neglected in some very important ways. Perhaps one can argue that it is an advantage that men can be more aggressive and domineering with fewer repercussions, but this kind of value system ultimately leads to less intimate or satisfying relationships in my opinion. > > Anyway, my main point is that what is more important is to create a safe space for open dialogue so that we can navigate the complexities of human relationships together. > > On Thu, Oct 25, 2018 at 5:16 PM Henriques, Gregg - henriqgx <[log in to unmask] <mailto:[log in to unmask]>> wrote: > Thanks so much for sharing this viewpoint Patrice. It was helpful for me to see. > > Best, > Gregg > > > > Sent from my Verizon 4G LTE smartphone > > > -------- Original message -------- > From: Patrice Alvarado <[log in to unmask] <mailto:[log in to unmask]>> > Date: 10/25/18 5:34 PM (GMT-05:00) > To: [log in to unmask] <mailto:[log in to unmask]> > Subject: Re: Sartre, and ?Are all men sexist? > > It feels a bit vulnerable to express this but in the spirit of answering an invitation to speak on this subject I can write these thoughts: I read the article a couple of days ago and was moved, and filled with an incredible sense of hopefulness that it was possible for someone … a man in this case … to understand … the lived experience of the Other.. The article struck me in a different way than most newspaper articles that I like do, in that it seemed to speak more directly to my heart and personal self, and this came from more than the words by themselves (ex. words such as sexist, patriarchy, etc.) but from the author's sense of humility and use of examples that demonstrated a real understanding, again of the perspective and lived experience of being female. Yet I know that if he had just said “men do sexist things” while not acknowledging the pervasiveness of the whole mindset that we all live under, it would not have felt as powerful to me. I was also struck with how vulnerable the author was being with his words and found myself wondering about how other men might view him … Before that I actually had the thought that this was probably written by a woman who at the end would say, “these are words we wish to hear”. Once I realized though that he was indeed a man who had not had the lived experience of being female, I felt a deep appreciation and even awe at his courage for writing such a piece and thought he must be someone who truly is in tune with himself to be able to take such a risk. > One additional note: I had not shared the article with friends, as I often do, but when Gregg’s post came through about him speaking at Mary Washington I shared with my daughter, who just graduated from Mary Washington and who works there, about the Sartre event and she wrote back that that was awesome about the event and then added “and that article looks amazing”. I am guessing that the article struck her in a similar way that it struck me. Thank you Jason, Gregg, and others for this discussion and the invitation to write a response. Patrice > > Patrice A. Alvarado, Ph.D. > Licensed Clinical Psychologist > 9246-B Mosby St. > Manassas, VA 20110 > 571-248-2145 > www.mindful-psychotherapy.net <https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.mindful-2Dpsychotherapy.net&d=DwMFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=sPasuYr9jfRot6sZ15l1-DIW1_bSo-V0HS5EUq32w0E&s=SpTzimfCkD2vkN6DJw184OJ22877hOubUIdzrJGZqek&e=> > >> On Oct 25, 2018, at 4:36 PM, nysa71 <[log in to unmask] <mailto:[log in to unmask]>> wrote: >> >> >> I would like to read the thoughts of women on this listserve on that NYT article. I hope they feel they can without the fear of being mansplained to. >> >> ~ Jason >> On Thursday, October 25, 2018, 12:32:25 PM EDT, Henriques, Gregg - henriqgx <[log in to unmask] <mailto:[log in to unmask]>> wrote: >> >> >> Hi List, >> >> Steve Quackenbush and I are headed to a conference on Sartre this weekend at Mary Washington University. George Yancy will be giving the keynote. He has written quite a bit on racism in the US. He just wrote an op ed piece explaining why he thinks all men, including himself, are sexist: https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.nytimes.com_2018_10_24_opinion_men-2Dsexism-2Dme-2Dtoo.html&d=DwIFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=4X4OXIClPQhUbaxRg7nmhA62tNlQuz5lKdP00GFBabY&s=Yt53mgg8CHnau1Qe34EADQvS8tv7LChx1kMVJSVBEA4&e= <https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.nytimes.com_2018_10_24_opinion_men-2Dsexism-2Dme-2Dtoo.html&d=DwMFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=vrsosTFwweVLZozwqh3sMnDw9m61dPszYjrVYdHoIYs&s=Dj0Q5wFKSj5yyVKFTjKFbvxyxvRQZ9qa8hvxL-ETDJs&e=>. I will be interested to hear him speak (which will be more focused on racism than sexism, I think). Perhaps I will get a chance to chat with him. Would be curious to see if others have reactions to this. >> >> >> When these kinds of conversations emerge, I like to bring them close to home, into the here and now. For example, in bringing this up, I can’t help but reflect on noticing how male dominated this list is, at least in terms of participation. We are fairly equivalent in terms of actual numbers (~35 of each gender). Yet, my sense is that 95% or more of the posts have been made by men. This is the pattern of virtually every other list serve I have been on (i.e., heavily male dominated, much more than the ratio of folks on the list). Interesting food for thought. >> >> >> I will be heading out and back Monday. >> >> >> Best, >> >> Gregg >> >> >> >> ############################ >> To unsubscribe from the TOK-SOCIETY-L list: write to: mailto:[log in to unmask] <mailto:mailto:[log in to unmask]> or click the following link: http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1 <https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__listserv.jmuedu_cgi-2Dbin_wa-3FSUBED1-3DTOK-2DSOCIETY-2DL-26A-3D1&d=DwMFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=sPasuYr9jfRot6sZ15l1-DIW1_bSo-V0HS5EUq32w0E&s=OyX4HW9cIqmkN43ZWrW8_TV0GjKLmQCZKNxFDUaexkw&e=>############################ >> To unsubscribe from the TOK-SOCIETY-L list: write to: mailto:[log in to unmask] <mailto:mailto:[log in to unmask]> or click the following link: http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1 <http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1> > ############################ > To unsubscribe from the TOK-SOCIETY-L list: write to: mailto:[log in to unmask] <mailto:mailto:[log in to unmask]> or click the following link: http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1 <http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1>############################ > To unsubscribe from the TOK-SOCIETY-L list: write to: mailto:[log in to unmask] <mailto:mailto:[log in to unmask]> or click the following link: http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1 <http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1>############################ > To unsubscribe from the TOK-SOCIETY-L list: write to: mailto:[log in to unmask] <mailto:mailto:[log in to unmask]> or click the following link: http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1 <http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1> ############################ To unsubscribe from the TOK-SOCIETY-L list: write to: mailto:[log in to unmask] or click the following link: http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1