Jamie, Good question re the diagram. It is not clear. The freedom axis is a “partial orthogonal” in that it is both conceptually separate, but it is also “tangled” with the others. In terms of the conceptual separation, think of the difference between increasing distance/decreasing involvement and social exchange versus the reverse. The farthest point on the autonomy axis is full separation, with no exchange or dependency at all. We can call this a “counter-dependent” spot, as folks who are in this space usually are working to avoid contact as a function of being hurt or betrayed or failing to find fulfillment. The flip side is hyper dependence. For a more detailed description, you can look into what is called the attachment style literature, found here<https://www.psychalive.org/what-is-your-attachment-style/>. This connects to high v low relational value in a curvilinear way. The healthiest relational spot is found balancing a healthy autonomy with an interdependency that allows for connection and involvement, but not fusion nor excessive enmeshment. Here is a depiction (for the whole ppt see here<https://www.gregghenriques.com/influence-matrix.html>): [cid:image001.jpg@01D546AF.FC3376F0] With regard to your personal experiences, I am sorry to hear of your early situation as it sounds difficult. Finding out about our own “sh*t” and how it gets tangled up in other people’s “sh*t” is one of the great challenges of life and the stuff that keeps psychotherapists employed. I wish you the best of luck with trying to sort that out. Best, Gregg From: tree of knowledge system discussion <[log in to unmask]> On Behalf Of Jamie Dunbaugh Sent: Sunday, July 28, 2019 10:04 PM To: [log in to unmask] Subject: Re: Origin of Gender Role Post I'm a tiny bit confused by the diagram, Gregg. Is it meant to be 3D, with 8 sections (autonomous =back, and dependent=front) , and the freedom axis neutral with regard to relational value? And also, the two top right sections (dominant/affiliative/autonomous(back) vs dominant/affiliative/dependent(front)) equally high relational value? Or is the freedom axis supposed to be some mix of the power and love dimensions? Otherwise, in general, it does make some distance describing the social emotions. I wonder how it would apply to why men shouldn't be "nice guys" . ... And while I'm on that subject, I would like to ask something I've been struggling with: I get why being nice can be understood as fake and passive aggressive, and why some might be justified in regarding a nice guy as actually not that nice. But in my experience, I was simply raised, after being adopted, to put others first, by an abusive step mother (you might imagine where that puts me today) . I was Harry Potter. So when I hit my 20's and found hostility from female coworkers, I was totally confused. This happened in more than one workplace, where a certain alpha female would project and demonize me, without ever directly explaining her problem. Even today, in my 30's, I haven't resolved the ethics of it. I've simply become more direct, and very careful communicator, constantly walking on eggshells. And I've come to expect people (especially women) to project things on me that aren't true, like they're afraid of me because I'm honest, and they're trying to deny my honesty. On Sat, Jul 27, 2019, 8:54 AM Henriques, Gregg - henriqgx <[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>> wrote: Hi List, I posted a blog today on the nature and origin of gender differences and gender roles. Here is the link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/201907/simple-way-understand-the-origin-gender-roles<https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.psychologytoday.com_us_blog_theory-2Dknowledge_201907_simple-2Dway-2Dunderstand-2Dthe-2Dorigin-2Dgender-2Droles&d=DwMFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=26g8gH_ROCVRN9xHufN5u2tvvl6zbiL0kdkLY2azz9M&s=2ft53NoSfzI7dI16hj_mwVy7mjqgf0vmSJYReCoF2lE&e=> Best, Gregg ___________________________________________ Gregg Henriques, Ph.D. Professor Department of Graduate Psychology 216 Johnston Hall MSC 7401 James Madison University Harrisonburg, VA 22807 (540) 568-7857 (phone) (540) 568-4747 (fax) Be that which enhances dignity and well-being with integrity. Check out my Theory of Knowledge blog at Psychology Today at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/theory-knowledge<https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.psychologytoday.com_blog_theory-2Dknowledge&d=DwMFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=26g8gH_ROCVRN9xHufN5u2tvvl6zbiL0kdkLY2azz9M&s=wonWRP_onk1HwOYoHsjwXoDBDDdsi_5nba41y9St4Co&e=> Check out my webpage at: www.gregghenriques.com<https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.gregghenriques.com&d=DwMFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=26g8gH_ROCVRN9xHufN5u2tvvl6zbiL0kdkLY2azz9M&s=T2_Oqg8jD54v8L8gLRRF-FtOKsI0EpK3DsTrEX_LQe4&e=> ############################ To unsubscribe from the TOK-SOCIETY-L list: write to: mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:mailto:[log in to unmask]> or click the following link: http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1 ############################ To unsubscribe from the TOK-SOCIETY-L list: write to: mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:mailto:[log in to unmask]> or click the following link: http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1 ############################ To unsubscribe from the TOK-SOCIETY-L list: write to: mailto:[log in to unmask] or click the following link: http://listserv.jmu.edu/cgi-bin/wa?SUBED1=TOK-SOCIETY-L&A=1