On 13 May 2021, at 04:15, Nick Jankel <[log in to unmask]> wrote:CAUTION: This email originated from outside of JMU. Do not click links or open attachments unless you recognize the sender and know the content is safe.
Hi all
Its been a while since I posted on this feed, for similar reasons to Adriana, although I am a man long attracted to cognitive complexity.
Adriana, I just read your email and I felt very moved. Thank you for having the courage to bring your presence into this space.
It took me a long time to restore balance in me to prioritize, or at least equalize, relational connectivity over relational discourse.
Thanks be to my mother and the mother of my boy—and all the other people in my life who have long ago realized that relational presence is as important as rational power (if not more so, given our travails).
I have come to the conclusion, after my own intentional journey towards some notion of embodied wisdom within—whilst grappling with how to use various complex systems change tools on our local-global problems—that this move is essential for us all.
I literally just finished this essay - which has taken me 16 years to be ready to express.
I bow down to the feminine wisdom of reciprocal interdependent relationships—and the harmonized appropriateness of surrendered servant-stewardship as leaders.
Besos to all
Nick
_______________________________
Nick Jankel
Co-Founder, Switch On
Join us for free transformative webinarsIG: @switchonnow
On May 11, 2021, at 5:00 AM, TOK-SOCIETY-L automatic digest system <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
There is 1 message totaling 1258 lines in this issue.
Topics of the day:
1. TOK Happy Mother's Day/Proposal for "Women's Week"
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Date: Tue, 11 May 2021 01:53:57 +0200
From: James Gien Wong <[log in to unmask]>
Subject: Re: TOK Happy Mother's Day/Proposal for "Women's Week"
Indeed, Adriana,
Less abstract,
we become more real.
I actually met my wife karmically through the mutual sharing of the loss of
my grandmother, and her sharing about the loss of her daughter.
Through both our losses, and our mutual capacity to heal using art mediated
over half a world away, we found each other
and I flew halfway around the world to be with her...that was 13 years ago.
Again, the power of sharing stories...
Wishing you WELLth
Gien
Future Ancestor
Pull a thread here and you’ll find it’s attached to the rest of the world.
- Nadeem Aslam
www.stopresetgo.org
https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.earthwisecentre.org_tps&d=DwIFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=bTd3iqROvJywiGpEaqSE7NN26oLXyOo4XnJr9SDRLIc&s=R5ID46cxQ2CNCPvmPpEJ2gROsQoUgC2qZ9CxY852tFc&e=
https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__tippingpointfestival.org&d=DwIFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=bTd3iqROvJywiGpEaqSE7NN26oLXyOo4XnJr9SDRLIc&s=oBb6Fo5cmJhtWf9Iu8V3noEcwr61hDzJfG538TfZk8g&e=
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On Mon, May 10, 2021 at 1:36 PM Adriana Forte Naili <
[log in to unmask]> wrote:
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------------------------------
I feel deeply moved by this thread. I am so sorry to hear about your
daughter’s cancer Joan but I am happy to hear that her prognosis is
positive.
Gien I was very touched by the words you shared. By the incredible, yet
painful journey your grandmother must have had with her children. I second
what Joan has said. Your relationship with your grandmother must have been
so important for her, and you.
I also appreciated imagining her, in my mind’s eyes, praying for the sun
and the moon. I lived in Hong Kong for 5 years a long time ago and I can
say that China has helped open me up to Wonder and mystery. And speaking of
mystery, what a curious link between your recent MRI at the same age of
your mum’s passing. Maybe your body re-membering?
I feel sad for the pain that some of you shared on this thread today, at
the same time I can’t help but notice that through these stories I am able
to feel into the shared humanity between us all and feel you all closer.
Less abstract.
The power of sharing stories…
Thank you all.
On 10 May 2021, at 03:41, Joan Walton <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
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------------------------------
Gien, I was close to crying by the time I reached the end of this. There
was so much in that short piece of writing.
My 38 year old daughter - with two young children of her own - has
cancer. I know what I feel like living with just the fear that she will
not get through it. I cannot imagine your grandmother's grief at the loss
of 10 children, it feels too much for any one person to bear. To outlive
all her children? She was fortunate to have you alongside her, this must
have meant the world to her. The prognosis for my daughter is positive, so
we are just hoping and praying.
And yes, the authentic recognition of wider influences at work seems
important to me - however or whenever we feel and express them.
Thank you to Kacey, Adriana, and to all others who are contributing to
this different kind of communication.
With love
Joan
On Mon, 10 May 2021 at 07:57, James Gien Wong <[log in to unmask]>
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------------------------------
This group continues to collectively dive beneath the surface into the
hidden part of our Johari Window, revealing ourselves through stories that
creates social capital between us. In an age of enforced isolation, the
power of sharing personal stories is more important than ever to compensate
for the social vacuum. So thanks to all for sharing and emerging a sense of
community to transform a collection of strangers.
Gregg, and Mimi, if you are reading this, thanks for bringing Gregg into
the world and for all that you do to nurture humanity. You obviously have
penetrated deep into the psyche of Gregg, and he continues your journey of
effortless compassion and energy in the world. What are we in the vastness
of space and time? Somehow our ability to love is an articulation of the
greatest meaning. I once wrote a song lyric that said “ Love, is the
attraction of the universe with itself” that expresses how our journey of
love, in all its many forms, is a search for meaning, to bridge the inner
and the outer. Our physical umbilical cord may have been cut from mother at
birth, but the umbilical cord of the human being still tethers us to our
phenomenological reality, perceived to be on the outside of us. So love is
the expression of our deeper self to bond with mother (nature).
Kacey, your sharing reminds me of my own mother, who ironically died of
lymphoma just short of age 60, which I will be next month. It is
coincidental that my recent MRI showed two abnormal growths in my body at
this time. Much strength to you as you and your mother take this sacred
journey of life together.
Adrian, thank you for sharing your perspective and wisdom. I always felt
strong influence from my own nurturing mother and also my grandmother, my
mother’s mother. They both heavily influenced my with the feminine aspect
in my own life. Life also forces the feminine to also adopt the masculine
in life.
During my childhood, when my father unilaterally decided to buy a
restaurant that had 8 five pin bowling lanes, a snooker table and 3 eight
ball pool tables in a small desolate community, without informing my
mother, his patriarchal, cultural habit incensed my mother and uprooted our
family. My mother adopted but it was a harsh new reality. We lived in a
town with a nearby indigenous community, the Haida people on the Queen
Charlotte Islands, and we directly experienced the tragedy of post
colonialist trauma of alcoholism, violence and addiction - the unhealed
insult of colonialism. We were the unofficial gathering place and though we
had no liquor license, people would smuggle in alcohol as they played pool.
This resulted in violent incidents that occurred on a regular basis,
especially on payday. My mother quickly learned to adopt in order to
survive. Many a times I witnessed drunken men threatening her with large
knives drawn and held to her throat but even when confronted with such
violence, she stood her ground. The masculine emerged out of her, so strong
was her instinct to protect her children.
Today, we are friends with many of the indigenous people, and understand
the collective victimisation that created such an unhealthy space. Such
trauma took a toll on my mother, however, and I believe contributed to her
cancer.
When she died, it also caused, or rather continued the trauma in my
grandmother, my mother’s mother. I remember my grandmother clutching my
mother’s body and wailing for hours until she lost her voice. My
grandmother married in impoverished rural China, and as was customary at
that time, had a large family. I believe she had 12 children in total, but
most died while still young due to malnutrition. My mother was her last
surviving child, so it was heartbreaking for her mother when my mother died.
I spent the rest of my grandmother’s life taking care of her until she
died on July 31st, 2002 (or 2005? It has been awhile!) My grandmother was
quite a remarkable women as well. She believed in dieties and would often
stop and look directly at the sun or moon and pray to the bright spheres in
the sky whenever they appeared. She did it so authentically. Even if we
were on a busy street in downtown, if the sun suddenly appeared, she would
stop and just begin bowing and praying in reverence, which drew a lot of
attention. The two of us would often do it together, as i would need to
support her while she did it. The authenticity of her reverence taught me
to appreciate how so much wonder exists in the mundane world which most of
us sadly do not see anymore, and just walk by.
Such is the complexity of life, each of us brought into being by our
mother and father, and left with an indelible mark on our own life.
My grandmother almost died of pneumonia at age 95. She survived but her
health began to decline. I decided to begin writing folk songs to help
prepare for her death. I called them yogic songs, much like the songs of
Tibet’s patron saint, Milarepa (The 100,000 Songs of Milarepa). When my
grandmother caught pneumonia a second time at age 98, she was again
hospitalised. This time, however, she did not make it. She sensed it was
her time to leave and she began to starve herself. When she died, I went
home that night, and knew i had to write one more song. I never finished it
but the partial lyrics were
7:28
The moment had arrived
When you couldn't stay much longer,
And you had to say goodbye
I subsequently went to recording engineering school and learned how to
record and produced a personal album in tribute to her.
I believe that those who love us live powerfully through us, even when
they are no longer physically here. We become ambassadors for them. They
transform us in such fundamental ways, that they are woven into our psychic
and even our physiological fabric.
On Mon, 10 May 2021 at 06:40, Adriana Forte Naili <
[log in to unmask]> wrote:
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------------------------------
Dear Gregg and Kacey (and everyone else :-))
I appreciate the invitation here.
I notice a bit of trepidation as I haven’t, until now, contributed to
this e-mail chain.
If I dig deep inside myself to find out why this is I believe it is
because I found (and I am aware here that this might be an inaccurate
assumption on my part) that my particular “genius” or “intelligence” would
not contribute much to most topics that are discussed here.
When I engage with this chain the part of myself that is usually more
alive is my intellect and some of the threads - where maybe some context
that I might not have is needed - I can’t even follow (cognitively).
Some years ago I might have judged myself thinking that I don't have the
necessary intelligence to be a part of such group of - what I perceive as -
highly cognitively intelligent people.
It was only after much work on myself and also facilitating women’s
groups and coaching men and women that I started seeing a pattern.
Many women did seem to think less of themselves if they couldn’t follow
certain types of conversation but they never thought any less of their
partners when their relational line of development, for example, was not as
developed as theirs. They just thought…”he is not as social as me” or
something like that.
It seems to me that if we think of intelligence - in general - till
today, many people still refer only to cognition. Of course men and women
can be equally developed in their cognitive lines but my hypothesis
(totally unfounded “scientifically" and only tested by observing life
around me) is that there is a whole way of interacting with reality and
contributing to a “better world” that is still invisible to the mainstream.
I am only sharing this because I notice it in myself. Every time I am
amongst a group that “shines” in their intellectual line of development I
need to engage my “masculine”/yang side (which is totally fine and in some
ways comfortable for me) but I end up having less opportunity to engage
from my feminine/yin (which is dying to contribute in the world in her own
swirly way ;-)).
So my wish on this mother’s day is that women everywhere notice the
worth of their genius and feel appreciated for their contribution not only
when they engage “their masculine” but also when they are expressing their
feminine…if nothing else birthing and nurturing humanity into existence is
a great start :-)
So here it is…my first contribution.
With love,
Adriana
On 9 May 2021, at 07:06, Henriques, Gregg - henriqgx <[log in to unmask]>
wrote:
Dear TOK List,
Happy Mother’s Day! This post is to you (with a special shout out to
Andee, the loving mother of our three children).
Kacey Wilson and I are writing to propose this as “Women’s Week” on
the TOK Society List. The frame is to encourage posts by the many amazing
women on this list on areas of current intellectual, wisdom, heart,
knowledge paths that are lighting up your life. The idea was sparked by a
conversation Kacey and I had about the list being largely populated by male
voices and the differences and benefits that would come from more
engagement or posts by women.
On this Mother’s Day, I wanted to take a moment and honor my mother. I
asked her to join the list at least for this week. She is an amazing women
who received her doctorate in early childhood education, still works as an
adjunct professor (now for JMU) supervising new teachers, was nominated for
Disney Teacher of the year several years ago, is one of the premier
National Board Certified Teachers in the Country. On top of that, she
raised four sons and provided an incredibly supportive but also
appropriately challenging developmental context for us to reach our
potential. She also continues to amaze. See attached for some pictures.
Also, just prior to Covid, our family was fortunately able to celebrate her
80th birthday. Each of her sons spoke in her honor. Attached is the
speech I gave. Also, here is a link
<https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.psychologytoday.com_us_blog_theory-2Dknowledge_201701_appreciating-2Dmy-2Dmother-2Dher-2Dbirthday&d=DwMFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=6_ZL8J3L5qZ8EqZebyMCFE3TNHh8F8rwoOuonZM6hCo&s=tL9wl1eB9OVgzSUwY96szCwMpO8WYHIBKG0rH9gnh4U&e=>
to a letter I wrote to her five years earlier for her 75th.
Thanks, Mom, for all you do.
Best,
Gregg
PS Thanks to Kacey for her insight and initiative in sparking this move.
___________________________________________
Gregg Henriques, Ph.D.
Professor
Department of Graduate Psychology
216 Johnston Hall
MSC 7401
James Madison University
Harrisonburg, VA 22807
(540) 568-7857 (phone)
(540) 568-4747 (fax)
*Be that which enhances dignity and well-being with integrity.*
Check out the Unified Theory Of Knowledge homepage at:
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Wishing you WELLth
Gien
Future Ancestor
Pull a thread here and you’ll find it’s attached to the rest of the
world. - Nadeem Aslam
www.stopresetgo.org
<https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=http-3A__www.stopresetgo.org_&d=DwMFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=L1zh963D0ElXV-HTFhanhiAxnZiLBzlpPI-NNCe7CA8&s=MzSzfDE1_VOBYdTBI6Ck0IJP3Fcjpc_bX5ti6TpiJVA&e=>
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End of TOK-SOCIETY-L Digest - 10 May 2021 (#2021-211)
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