############################Yes, here is the TOK Community presentation she made:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7X9GLNG0T0&list=PLTJe1xFfoxrBLGrv6Kh-iTdlKp2VX2-Lk&index=10
Best,
G
From: theory of knowledge society discussion <[log in to unmask]> On Behalf Of lee simplyquality.org
Sent: Thursday, April 7, 2022 2:05 PM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Resources for Parenting (especially Toddlers)
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Aydan,
We heard a great presentation by Darcia Narvaez of the Evolved Nest on parenting.
I hope this helps.
Lee Beaumont
On Apr 7, 2022, at 2:00 PM, Henriques, Gregg - henriqgx <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
If you want to apply UTOK basics to the psychosocial processes associated with parenting:
First, the core relational need of kids (and people in general) is to be seen, known, and valued by important others (which, of course, for toddlers are their parents/primary care givers).
We can apply the lens of the Influence Matrix to attachment theory and understand that attachment theory’s “circle of security” is fundamentally about (a) effectively enacting the first principle re relational value (instead of trying to instrumentally influence or control their children, see here for difference) and (b) managing the autonomy dependency line in the parent-child relationship (i.e. the green line). That is, you want to afford a “secure base” where the child feels seen, known and valued and can return to if needing care, and from there they explore their environment with an increasing sense of agency.
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On the flip side, following Baumrind, we generally want the parents to adopt the position of loving authority who provides clear reasons for what is happening and engages in active, dynamic participatory parenting. This “authoritative” stance is generally preferred to parenting that is too controlling (authoritarian), to giving and overly sensitive (permissive), or too distant or uninvolved (neglectful).
We can also apply the lens of Erikson’s psychosocial development also via a Matrix lens to know that “basic trust” (relative to mistrust) is about being seen, known and valued and that autonomy (as opposed to shame and doubt) is about having the capacity for self-determination and mastery as an independent agent. As the toddler moves into young childhood (i.e., 3-6), there is a major shift in referent/focus from parents to peers.
We can use BIT and JUST coupled to Vygotsky to understand that we want to cultivate the sweet spot of the zone of proximal development in the child’s agent arena interactions and we want to help the child internalize both the perspectives of others and the tools (i.e., rules and practices) that allow them to become effectively socialized into the Culture. Via Piaget/Vervaeke, we can track the child’s basic structure as developing from a sensory-motor animal to a pre-operational primate to a young person with concrete operational capacity that is engaging in a process of assimilation and accommodation/recursive relevance realization in an attempt to develop an optimal grip on the agent arena relationship. Also note that we hope that parents are able to operate at the formal, full Culture-Person level, but kids have trouble understanding that level of abstraction and so parents to best if they can empathize with the core sense making structure of their children and operate within the zone of proximal development. It is, of course, adolescence, that is the time of transition into the full Culture-Person formal operator.
From a family systems perspective, all of this should take place in an environment where the adults model Curiosity, Acceptance, Loving Compassion and Motivation toward adaptive/valued states of being, and become psychologically reflective rather than mindlessly/defensively reactive when negative events activate negative feelings (i.e., instead of triple negative neurotic looping, adults in the child’s environment turn on the CALM MO flashlight). In addition, hopefully these family systems would further be nested in relations across the socio-ecological spectrum that allow for the general, sustainable enhancement of dignity and well-being with integrity.
Best,
Gregg
From: theory of knowledge society discussion <[log in to unmask]> On Behalf Of Ari Delashmutt
Sent: Thursday, April 7, 2022 11:35 AM
To: [log in to unmask]
Subject: Re: Resources for Parenting (especially Toddlers)
CAUTION: This email originated from outside of JMU. Do not click links or open attachments unless you recognize the sender and know the content is safe.
Not sure im educated or if these are a metamodern take but i do like this subject. My recommendations would be, in order,
Nonviolent communication- Rosenberg
Punished by reward - alfie kohn (maybe also his ‘unconditional parenting’)
No bad kids , toddler discipline without shame - female author can’t remember her name now
Hunt Gather Parent - a popular one in my hood, some cool ideas
Jordan hall and I also discussed parenting on my podcast, and i appreciated his take. Ari in the Air
Hope that’s helpful. Happy parenting.
On Thu, Apr 7, 2022 at 8:17 AM Aydan Connor <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
CAUTION: This email originated from outside of JMU. Do not click links or open attachments unless you recognize the sender and know the content is safe.
Hello All,
Are there parenting and/or child development books/resources out there that you fine, more educated people here might recommend? I’d be curious if there’s a metamodern take on the subject that might be useful to a parent of a toddler (I.e. me ;) ). I have developed a high level of skepticism about the quality of what is out there, and could use reliable, practical advice. I’m not scared off by spiritual perspectives as well.
With Gratitude,
Aydan
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