So after we find the truth it seems worthwhile to cultivate an art to share
that truth with others we care for.

Thank you for this thread

-Chance

On Fri, May 29, 2020 at 8:07 AM Diop, Corinne Joan Martin - diopcj <
[log in to unmask]> wrote:

> I am an artist and am not trained or experienced in anything you are so
> passionately writing about. But what I saw in your words and was trying to
> reach out to share, but obviously completely failed (and sincerely hope
> this doesn't fail even worse), was this--
>
> Sometimes wild flowers grow in empty urban lots or alongside the road
> where they are trampled by people, subject to hot sun without water,
> completely iced over in winter, routinely sprayed with herbicides, and
> their beauty and purpose is rarely appreciated-- they are often amazingly
> resilient and keep growing, but not always. Some of the exact same flowers
> (I am thinking of Queen Anne's lace and those orange daisies) are raised in
> nurseries to be purchased by gardeners who will take them home to plant in
> a carefully prepared space and to faithfully nurture and water them, and to
> admire them, maybe even cutting sprigs for bouquets. Or, a bad gardener
> could purchase them so they are back to fighting for survival, like the
> urban plants. Which environment a plant ends up in and how it is treated
> obviously has a huge impact on how it thrives, but it doesn't have anything
> to do with the worth of the plant or what it deserved (as far as I know.)
>
> ________________________________________
> From: tree of knowledge system discussion [[log in to unmask]]
> on behalf of Jamie D [[log in to unmask]]
> Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2020 10:25 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]
> Subject: Re: Anyone studying these topics? (Learning)
>
> Is it not evident in my writing that I'm looking to fix something in
> myself? I'm not fully understanding your grammar. Can you elaborate? (I'm
> expecting this to be another episode of culture shock, or, like a clash of
> cultures, total confusion and misunderstanding, ego's reved up only to fall)
>
> By rage against false love, I mean don't be true to those false to me,
> don't give any chances to liars, ditch fake friends, have higher standards
> than I've known, and trust instincts I've never had a chance to use. Having
> never been outside myself, the territory is new to me.
>
> Would you expect a motherless child to be faithful to anyone as it would
> it's mother, at the age of four?... or think new caregivers justified in
> anger if the child is slightly witheld? Seeing anger at its fear, the child
> wraps itself up in a hell of terror, and sears its behavior along whatever
> behavior brings acceptance, adhering to norms militarily, then later
> questioning them when nothing works......
>
> All the while in its development, unwritten, unspoken norms dictate
> contempt, deny respect, and for what? What is so offensive about being
> polite? About good behavior?
>
> By normative appearances, an adopted child should believe that it's loved,
> connected, so it goes through the motions, dances the dance, shows
> "gratitude"... But it was never real, never felt, and the family went along
> with the lie that the 4 year old allowed itself to hope might come true...
>
> The crime committed must have been failure to do something not a human
> being knows - not following through with a love unknown by the intellect,
> hidden in some random momentary permutation?
>
> I suppose the separation of feelings and actions is part of the problem,
> because it appeared I could control myself, with the energy dwindling...
> Until I became an heroin addict!
>
> What wears one down is known by nobody. But eventually, it's like one is
> forced to commit a real crime by some earlier unseen crime within. (in my
> experience, that's a vital truth not well known: that the real crime was
> committed well before its manifestation, which is almost like a punishment
> on the person.)
>
> What does God, or anyone, expect of a four year old? I don't ask this to
> justify myself, or judge anyone else, but all of this, all of my
> reputation-destroying transparency, is solely to use my experience, as a
> window into a source of solutions unknown by our culture..... And that,
> perhaps, is what I've always been trying to do.
>
> In God's eyes, children are fully responsible, apparently. More children
> have died than anyone, from what I've learned of evolution.
>
> Ig my tone sounds bitter, then so be it. But in mind, in focus, I'm all
> ears, surrendering and committing to whatever humility will bring forth
> clarity. And like a dead horse, I absorb blows of judgement I know aren't
> true and must continue to resist believing them.
>
> Nothing in science, nothing in religion, no phenomena whatsoever told the
> simple truth that healthy children are allowed to safely develop amongst.
> And now, tangled up in a complex of maladapted triggers and cues, having
> heard insinuated judgements for the trillionth time, but never brought
> fully forward,... I don't know.
>
> Fear leads to hate, yes. And hate is painful and pointless.
>
>
> On Thu, May 28, 2020, 5:56 PM Diop, Corinne Joan Martin - diopcj <
> [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>> wrote:
> Jamie,
>
> That is one helluva PS!!
>
> False love is a problem within the lover, doesn't have anything AT ALL to
> do with you?
>
> Corinne
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________________
> From: tree of knowledge system discussion [[log in to unmask]
> <mailto:[log in to unmask]>] on behalf of Jamie D [
> [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>]
> Sent: Thursday, May 28, 2020 8:48 PM
> To: [log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>
> Subject: Re: Anyone studying these topics? (Learning)
>
> One shouldn't have to force their self. Eventually they'll drain. If part
> of the mind is a tyrant, it's perhaps related to another part that's a
> slave to something, and the self is therefore divided in purpose.
>
> I've been watching a lot of Motivational YouTube videos, which have
> kernals of wisdom, one of which being: "Know your Why" and "if your why
> doesn't make you cry, that's not it".
>
> Rather, one must be drawn, by freeing up their natural interest, releasing
> attachments. And the best way I've found to do that is saying things out
> loud. If part of the mind is a slave to something, fix it by saying
> something.
>
> In order to be drawn, you might have to grind first, and then the hook
> comes... That's how it usually is for me.
>
> It shouldn't be hard at all for me to learn all that, not at all. I have a
> pension and all the freedom I need.
>
> What I lack is community.
>
> A few things nag at my attention, unfinished business dragging me down, in
> which case, I pay close attention to what's exactly the problem is, and
> write incessantly, and reviewing my writing on occasion.
>
> -Jamie
>
> PS - The rest of this is me thinking about what's been dragging me
> down,.... I wonder if all of it could be simply bluffed away, simply denied
> out of existence among new peers, and I can practice assuming new
> beliefs... or if something is still missing. I've been butchering my
> reputation for any kernal I might find, which I see as being open and
> vulnerable, falling on the sword.... But some barely discernable signal,
> only decided upon this very moment, convinces me that's my choice, and that
> it's still possible to step forward completely, but obviously the intellect
> can't be the guide, the choice must be made with one's entire being? Now
> we're getting into woo-woo or beyond culture. Does everyone's entire
> wellbeing depend on factors beyond normative understanding, in everyday
> relationships?
>
> My new mantra is "rage against false love", because I'm still in the
> process of freeing myself from mistakes learned in childhood, where I
> learned it wasn't safe to be truthful.
>
> And we can now rest upon the acceptance that it's not.
>
> I remain, for now, unacceptably insecure by society's standards, and
> combing through stoic wisdom to various forms of therapy have yet to
> provide the honest confidence that survival demands. I have impeccable
> confidence in what I do know, what I don't, as well as the difference, but
> it's the "unknown-unknown" that others seem to know, but can't or won't
> articulate.
>
> People see my dependence on honesty, and can't help but play and poke...
> to my death if it comes to it, even still meandering in that trajectory.
> Perhaps I'm a threat, and it's only that others fear the light in me
> revealing their use of the dark. They'd rather it be impossible to win
> honestly. Not entirely.
>
> From another angle, there must be something totally natural in contempt
> towards those not given security as children. It's like a law of nature. I
> can't find any power in being hostile, nor can I find any power in being a
> victim, and the mad self absorption trying to find the solution alienates
> those who would be friends.
>
> "the more elusive the problem, the more painfully obvious the solution.
> You just have to be willing to see it" - Jack Rackam from Black Sails
>
> Who the hell has a right to be secure in themselves anyway?
>
> ... Obviously a baby should.
>
> If the self is relational, such security can only be formed by security
> with peers. How does one be self responsible, and fix a relational problem
> solo?
>
> Note: the happiest person in the frame is always dominant, which would
> mean that (mythological) the top of the hierarchy is nothing more than
> honesty, everyone below having been untrue in some way. If a baby is at the
> top of the hierarchy, is life is a test of staying there?
>
> A friend said that I didn't seem to love myself, but what he really saw
> was a subconscious certainty that others don't love me as I am, or that I'm
> stuck solo, that I have to maintain an iron grip on my behavior to survive,
> not offend, keep integrity, be perfect, agonizingly and impotently "good"
> until I break or twindle down to nothing. And the confusion of which evil I
> should knowingly choose to be a healthier person is a sick thing to
> consider.
>
> And to hear people insinuate low self esteem, or lacking self love, is to
> hear endlessly that nobody has gotten outside theirself to see the
> dimensions through which people can change.
>
> I don't know what love really looks like, and having never seen it, don't
> know what to change...except get more and more articulate, keeping me in
> control.
>
>
>
> On Thu, May 28, 2020, 1:58 PM Chance McDermott <[log in to unmask]
> <mailto:[log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:
> [log in to unmask]>>> wrote:
> Jamie,
>
> What things have you noticed about the "forcing yourself/not forcing
> yourself" situation that happens when many folks get involved in personal
> augmentation?
>
> Ideally augmentation feels flowy and fun, which can be elusive when we
> codify something into a routine.
>
> Powerful stuff you're imagining,
>
> -Chance
>
> On Thu, May 28, 2020 at 3:05 PM Jamie D <[log in to unmask]<mailto:
> [log in to unmask]><mailto:[log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>>>
> wrote:
> Apologies, Gregg, if this breaks the rules. I forgot where to find rules.
>
> I'm wondering if anyone is studying the following
>
> *Data science and machine learning - jupiter, numpy, python
> *Python general programing
> *JavaScript general
> *Node-Express (and in my case PostgreSQL, for an app I've been writing
> about for years)
>
> I'm also working with my Muse headband to measure frontal asymmetry, since
> I've just learned that's a good measure of valence.
>
> Ideally, I'd also fit in my day a few pomodoro's of these topics:
> -Neuroscience
> -Statistics, linear algebra
> -Physics and information theory
>
> I dream of a military-style community for personal augmentation, based on
> the psychology of learning, creativity, effective group intelligence,
> health, fitness, and always staying up to date and flexible with new
> discoveries.
>
> By myself, especially during quarantine in SF, I've been having a hard
> time finding people who care about these.
>
> So far I found one person to meet and study from 3-6pm, just Node, and I'm
> posting around to find the right people to form a learning group, where we
> use our commitments to showing up to support the routine.
>
> The way I see it, everything we need to learn is online, and all schools
> offer is community support (with a ton of drag) so if people could decide
> what they want to learn, and they understood the psychology of learning,
> they could optimize their own routine.
>
> I'll list some useful learning principles:
>
> 1) goldilocks zone - not too hard nor boring, but just right for
> exponential progress towards mastery. Anyone can learn anything, but might
> have a more narrow goldilocks zone for learning quantum physics, easier to
> slip off.
>
> 2) focus vs diffuse learning (ideally, switch back and forth as optimally
> as possible. Don't neglect either - Best ideas come in diffuse, but long
> term memory of abstract concepts comes from deep focus and recall)
>
> 3) Anki forgetting curve - recall, recall, recall, just when about to
> forget, and soon remember forever.
>
> 4) fluid vs crystallized intelligence - fluid is like working memory, can
> only be increased via exercise and rest, whereas crystallized intelligence
> is what combines, recombines exponentially as the basis of cultural
> evolution and subject mastery.
>
> 5) the bottom line - you don't know shit unless you can teach, create, or
> do, and these should be the way you recall.
>
> Please let me know if I missed anything crucial.
>
> Jamie
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