Thanks, Ali.
Here is one issue with social media. Can one really be known and valued via Instagram or TiK Tok? I doubt it. Think about how different that kind of relationship is from oral indigenous relationships (i.e., real, face to face, back and forth dialogue and participation in activities together in the world). Instead, what is actually going on is one way broadcasting that is regulated by social influence markers, such as likes or clicks or watches and general comments. Thus, social media itself is the wrong kind of forum for the known and valued processes we are structured for.
I will say that I think zoom is qualitatively better. Although you are not with the person, you can have real, authentic relationships on zoom. I have never met John Vervaeke or Mike Mascolo in person, but I believe I have an authentic relationships with both of them, and many, many other people. So, the short answer is definitely yes, you can seek to be known and valued by a less than ideal group which will have consequences, but more to the point, the structure of the way we have developed our kids relationships is potentially disastrous.
Best,
Gregg
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Subject: Re: TOK Blog on Social Influence and Relational Value
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Gregg,
This is a great piece! Thanks for sharing!
In reading the last paragraph of your blog, I wondered...what happens when people don't look for being known and valued by the "right" people? For example, if teens are preoccupied with broad social acceptance (likely via a virtual / nebulous community (clearly making an assumption here)), is their pursuit of being known and valued doomed from the get-go?
As a follow-up question...even if these teens thought they were known and valued by this group (through likes, followers, etc.) would this sense of acceptance satisfy their core needs at any meaningful, sustainable level?
Would welcome your (or anyone else's) responses!
Thanks for the food for thought,
Ali
El vie, 12 de nov. de 2021 a la(s) 11:44, Henriques, Gregg - henriqgx ([log in to unmask]<mailto:[log in to unmask]>) escribió:
Hi Folks,
I put this up today. FWIW, I have found that the difference between social influence and relational value is likely one of the keys to effecting a wise cultural shift. It has come up in many conversations and was salient in my exchange last with Forrest Landry, which prompted me to put this out there:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/theory-knowledge/202111/social-influence-versus-relational-value<https://urldefense.proofpoint.com/v2/url?u=https-3A__www.psychologytoday.com_us_blog_theory-2Dknowledge_202111_social-2Dinfluence-2Dversus-2Drelational-2Dvalue&d=DwMFaQ&c=eLbWYnpnzycBCgmb7vCI4uqNEB9RSjOdn_5nBEmmeq0&r=HPo1IXYDhKClogP-UOpybo6Cfxxz-jIYBgjO2gOz4-A&m=27aZqxKMZwM-Xsv5aMH_fB3ev1u3om9Vf4toENRUKPk&s=zK2NcVEjGFKLifx-Ft-BDyP6c7-Sa7_giWN6w40v_A4&e=>
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